sodamnrelatable: school finals papers work responsibility life A perfect representation of how I feel about all of these things.
hawkeyer: cronusamporasthwongodong: hawkeyer: if i had a penis i’d probably constantly forget about it and then i’d be changing into my pajamas and start screaming like “wOAH WHAT’S IN MY PANTS oh yeah i have a dick” i’ve had one for sixteen years and let me tell you this still happens to me thank u for telling me im glad my suspicions were right
Dumbledore: Welcome back to another year of Hogwarts!
Dumbledore: I actually don't know why your parents still send you here
Dumbledore: There's like a 30% chance you'll die tragically
Dumbledore: And it just goes up every year
Dumbledore: I guess that just means all your parents hate you
Dumbledore: Great let's have some pumpkin juice
deadnektan: today i was in which wich and the cashier called out ‘roast beef for prisoner 24601’ and a dude stood up and said back ‘MY NAME IS JEAN VALJEAN’ and the cashier instantly said ‘AND I’M JAVERT, DO NOT FORGET MY NAME’ and im pretty sure he gave the guy like a 10 dollar tip
markgatiss: the guy in the taco bell drive thru just accidentally said “have a nice day I love you” and I thoughtlessly responded “love you too” and we just sort of stared at each other for a second before I drove away